“I woke up and had no idea where I was. I was lying on a bed, still wearing my fight suit, although my boots were off. The room looked kinda familiar to me – but at the same time not. When I slowly tried to get up, I felt the worst muscle ache in my life. That was how I suddenly remembered the fight against Jack. After I looked clueless around the room for a while (I was apparently in a rather expensive hotel), I spotted the small metal cube I had fought for, on a table on the other side of the room.”

Trying her best to ignore her aching muscles, Shego shuffled to the side of the bed. She was so preoccupied with her pain, and so fixated on the multi-thermonuclear Flux-Transmooker, that she didn't notice anything around her. That's why she jumped back into her bed, startled, when she set one foot down on the floor--not only did what she touched feel way too soft, but it also made a gasping sound.
While Shego readied herself for combat as best she could, she stared as Jack raised himself slowly up from the floor, alongside the bed in front of her. Apparently he was dealing with the worst muscle ache in his life as well.
Jack blinked at Shego, who stood on the bed with glowing hands, momentarily, and then he gave quick glances over his shoulders.
“Okay, why are we here in this hotel room, woman?”
“Like you don’t know!”
“Oh, you’re right. No, wait. I got no idea. So what is...”
Jack paused and turned around suddenly. He looked at the Flux-Transmooker, and then turned back to Shego. They looked into each other’s eyes--it was as though they had developed telepathic powers, because they had the same thought that very instant.
As fast as they could despite of their aches, they scrambled to the table to grab the cube before the other could reach it. Even though the Flux-Transmooker was only a few steps away, getting to it took a strenuous effort.
In the end they reached their goal simultaneously. They each grabbed the cube with one hand and held it with all their might. A smaller scramble started, which ended abruptly when they brought the cube to eye level and looked at their hands. Again they had the same thought.

“Holy crap!”

They each wore shiny rings, which looked in a scary way like wedding rings.
Jack vocalized it first: “This...is a nice ring. Yours is nice, too. Are they--”
“God, I hope not! That would mean that we--”
“It doesn't have to mean…maybe we’re just wearing them for the heck of it.”
“Exactly. It means nothing.”
“Absolutely nothing.”
“Can you remember anything?”
“No.”
“Me neither.”
“What if we really did get married?”
“I'm only twenty! I’ve got my whole life before me! I don't wanna be married! Especially with you!”
“Ouch.”
“Wasn't personal. No, it was! I don't know you, and we’re foes, and…what’s your real name?”
“Jack.”
“That's your real name? I thought you just made that up on the spot.”
“No, no. I'm really Jack. But now you know more about me than I know about you.”
“My name’s Shego.”
“I thought so. I've heard of you.”
Someone knocked on the door. In a split second Shego and Jack were back in reality:
they couldn't remember the last few hours, they were apparently married (or maybe not), they were in a hotel room, they had fought for a secret government project, and now someone was at the door.
“Should we get to the door?” whispered Shego.
“Whoever it is may shed some light on what happened to us. But I’m not about to let go of this flux thingy.”
“Fine. Me neither.”
They tiptoed together to the door, each still holding the cube. When they got to the door, they asked in unison: “Who is it?”
“Your carriage is ready,” said the voice behind the door.
Shego and Jack gave each other a bewildered look, and mouthed the word “carriage.”
With her free hand, Shego opened the door a crack. A man wearing a black tailcoat and silk hat waited in the corridor.
“Your carriage,” he said. “For the usual round trip through Las Vegas. It was included in the special.”
Jack burst the door open so abruptly, it startled Shego as much as the man outside.
“What special?” Jack demanded.
“Well...y'know, Special of the Month offer from Blutarsky's Church, of course!”
Both members of the supposedly-married couple each raised an eyebrow.
The elegant man continued. “The package deal...it was all on your coupon. A romantic wedding, a romantic weekend in a romantic suite at the romantic Lonthi Hotel, room service for an extra fee, and a romantic coach ride through the romantic glitter world of Las Vegas—by day! Not at night, when the streets are clogged and carriages are at a premium. All for the unbelievably low price of 499 romantic dollars!”
“That's a lotta romance for 499 dollars,” Jack said, deadpan.
“You can't get more romantic anywhere for less money. Okay, maybe you can--Vegas is a pretty big place--but this offer is tough to beat!”
Shego asked, uncharacteristically meekly, “And we actually took this offer?”
The man looked at the couple and smiled knowingly.
“You don't have to feel embarrassed. Hey, if I got a nickel from every couple that couldn't remember their wedding the next morning, I’d retire from driving horse-drawn carriages through Las Vegas. Apropos. Are you ready?”
“Uh, no thanks, we'll skip the ride,” Shego stammered, then hastily shut the door.
“Okay, but I'll wait five more minutes for you in front of the hotel, in case you change your minds!” the man called from behind the door. “And if not, please keep in mind that we won't refund your money! Oh, and somewhere in your room you should also find your paper work. It proves you two really are married!”
Shego and Jack didn't listen to the man anymore. They looked at each other speechless. None of them knew what to say or do in this situation.
Then Jack said how it was: “I feel sick. I gotta lay down.”
“Me, too.”
“Who gets the bed?”
“Until I can think straight again, who cares?”
“I agree.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“No, not good.”
Together they returned the Flux-Transmooker to the table, and shuffled slowly to the bed. Each of them lay on opposite sides, keeping as wide a space between them as possible.
It wasn’t long before the silence became unbearable.
“I’ll turn on the TV,“ Shego said, and she grabbed the remote from the nightstand next to her.
When she turned on the TV, a sitcom in progress faded in. On the screen appeared a kind of nervous-looking young woman, talking to three of her friends.
“When I woke up this morning,” the nervous woman on the TV said, “There was this man I’ve never seen before, lying next to me in my bed. And it seems as though I married him last night!” she said, followed by loud applause and laughter from an invisible and presumably taped audience.
Shego almost dropped the remote in shock, and she frantically tried to change the channel.
“Hey, your face is getting red,” Jack said, laughing at Shego.
“And your eye will be getting black in a moment.”
“I didn't say anything.”
“Good. Keep it that way.”
Shego strained to find a channel that had anything that was both interesting and neutral regarding her situation. When she surfed through all the channels for the third time, she noticed Jack watching her.
“What's wrong?“ she asked, annoyed.
“Actually, it's ridiculous how we act. I mean, neither of us wanted to get married, so all we have to do is annul the marriage. Then we keep on fighting for that thingy that brought us into that mess. But I know you needed a break first, and you needed it as much as I did.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“I noticed how you’re straining just to hold onto that remote. If your muscles are only half as sore as mine, you have my heartfelt sympathy. Well, 25% heartfelt. The rest is pure dissemblance. Remember, I'm one of the bad guys. We don't feel sympathy.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes…and? What are you driving at?”
“We’re almost equal fighters, we’re in the same boat, and we’re sharing a hotel room. Let's make the best of the situation and go whole hog on the room service. Today we'll be on Easy Street, and tomorrow we’ll be divorced and rivals again. So what do you think?”
With a serious-looking face, Shego glared at Jack. Jack just smiled back at her, but also expected to be attacked by his opponent.
“You wanna know what I think? Call room service! I definitely could use a massage. My shoulders are in knots.”

“Of course I took my assignment seriously, but I couldn’t object to taking a break. And I liked Jack somehow. Not so much that I would have been happy about the unexpected wedding, but he was kinda likable to me. We also had so much in common that it was almost scary. He had four sisters. They weren’t superheroes like my brothers, but just as annoying. And he got his superpowers from a meteor, too, although his story was less spectacular and somewhat embarrassing. When he was three years old, he stuck everything he could find up his nose. And one day it was a splinter of a meteor, which suddenly flew through his window. Another thing we had in common was that we took the same delight in making the bellhops and chambermaids cry by our evil comments. Still, we appreciated the good massage the staff gave us. Just like me Jack emphasized a fashionable appearance. We liked the same music and were annoyed by the same things. I hate to admit it, but by the end of the day I didn't dislike the thought of being married to him so much. The question of staying married was still up in the air, although with whom was no longer an issue. Then he ruined everything.”

Shego and Jack grinned gleefully as a team of hotel staff which unsuccessful in holding back their tears of torment, carried the empty trays of the three-course meal out of their room.
“And we mean it!” barked Shego after them, as the last whining attendant timidly closed the door.
“Well, what’s our next step?” Jack asked Shego.
“What do you mean?”
“I figure you aren’t about to pay the room service bill. Are you planning a loud or quiet exit? And after we have annulled our marriage, when do we start to fight for the Flux-Transmooker again?”
“Oh, I plan a loud exit—as spectacular as possible, of course. And we’ll talk about the other stuff later. Speaking of later--what are your plans, after I give the Flux-Transmooker to my client?”
“Oh, after I give it to my client, I’m gonna begin a new life.”
“The famous last job?”
“That's right. After that, I turn honest.”
The corners of Shego's mouth lowered. “You mean ‘honest,’ as in 'no more crimes'?”
“Exactly. I won't turn myself in or pay for my past crimes, but from the money I’ve set aside I’m gonna buy an ordinary house in a quiet place and live the rest of my life there in obscurity. The life as a villain was fun for a while. But as a permanent way of life, it's not my cup of tea.”
“But you won't start to use your powers for good, will you?”
“Nah. Only if I can't avoid it. Outside of that, I’m going to distance myself as much as possible from my evil past.” Jack clapped his hands once. “But first I need a shower.”

Shego cleared her throat and drank a sip of water. Then she kept telling her story.
“In sitcoms, not only do the characters wake up one morning to find they are married, but they also split with their partners over little things. My little thing with Jack was his talk about giving up life as a villain. I was done with being honest. It didn't pay and I was definitely not about to go back to it after such a short time. And when Jack told me about his plans, I lost all respect for him. Just one minute before, I wanted...wanted to be with him. I rarely had that feeling over my lifetime, but with Jack I was quite sure I wanted to see him again. But then the next minute he became, to me, on a par with people who live in their mothers’ basements, dress as vegetables, and hand out flyers on the street to make a living. He was dead to me. He just disappeared into the shower, and I grabbed the Flux-Transmooker and slipped out the window. Why he left it unguarded? No idea. Don't care, anyway. But if that day wasn't already bad enough, everything got worse when I brought the stolen thing to Deruyter.”
“And whatever happened to Jack?” Julian asked.
Shego drank another sip of water. “Never saw him again, and never heard anything about him ‘till he died.”
“Not even to annul the marriage?”
“No.”
“That means, you still were married to each other?”
“Fifteen years, to be exact. But only on paper. Then death did us part. Sometime along the way, Jack had hired a private investigator to find my whereabouts upon Jack’s death, so that I’d be informed our marriage was finally terminated. And what can I say? The private eye found me.”
“What happened?”
“Jack got run over. An accident. Could have happened to anybody.”
“But Jack wasn’t just anybody. After all, he had those superpowers.”
Shego leaned forward a little, and smiled. “That’s what I thought, too. So, I did my own detective work and demanded some answers. He was my husband, after all. But as it turned out, it really was an accident. Imagine that! He survived deadly lasers, giant robots, and bloodthirsty mutants! I saw him break through a massive concrete wall! But then one morning he went to fetch some biscuits at the store, and he ran out in front of a truck. He was killed instantly. I think that’s how you can sum up life on the whole. Doesn't matter who or what you are, somewhere there’s a truck waiting even for you.”